Vivian Bader, LCSW
Message from Vivian
It's perfectly normal and expected to feel some ambivalence or anxiety about beginning psychotherapy. There is a natural fear that talking about problems could make things worse. Furthermore, there is a fear that things that are going well will be negatively effected. My training and experience of 30 years has shown me however, that the therapeutic process is strengthening and enriching overall. It is a great relief to be listened to and understood, which naturally develops during the therapeutic process. Furthermore, with a deep understanding of oneself and one's conflicts, better choices are made and positive changes occur. I have worked extensively with patients struggling with low self esteem, depression, anxiety, and relationship issues, as well as problems of addiction. My many years in the field of psychotherapy has provided me with the gratifying experience of working with a wide variety of individuals and difficulties, helping individuals to reach their full potential.
About Vivian's practice
Weekdays After 5pm
Weekdays 9am - 5pm
$$$
Sliding scale
Directive
Reflective
In-person available: No
Virtual available: Yes
Indecision
Family Dynamics
Anxiety
Self-Esteem
Sexual Fear or Addiction
Sexual Identity
Grief and Bereavement
Addiction and Substance Use
Out of network providers
NY
Why state matters
Get to Know Vivian
"Never did I ever think I would need a therapist, but four years ago I was stuck. I thought I'd go in for a few sessions to clear my head and speak to someone outside of my social circle. I was fortunate to find Vivian Bader. She listens without interruption, but when she speaks - it sticks with you. She gives you a whole different perspective of how to look at your world. Whatever you think of therapy, Vivian has a calming nature about her that easily gets you to open up, to get to issues and to discover a complete new you."
Sarah, Client
"I have been working with Vivian Bader for over two years and I highly recommend her. If you want to move your life forward, be more in touch, focused, effective, close to people, aligned with your values, then I highly recommend Vivian Bader"
Sam, Client
How should I prepare for my first session with you?
There is no preparation needed, other than to anticipate that you will be talking about what you’d like to improve and I will ask questions to better understand your concerns.
How long should I commit to being in therapy, at least in the beginning?
I think it’s best to be able to commit to a minimum of six months to one year, if possible.
How can you tell if I am feeling stuck, unseen, or unheard?
I might observe that you are talking about things that don’t really matter to you, as an avoidance. I would also most likely notice how you’re feeling through your behavior, tone, etc. I would bring this up and discuss it with you so that you wouldn’t continue to feel stuck or unheard.
How can you tell if I am benefiting from working with you?
Patients begin to feel heard and understood very soon. They should start to feel better before long and begin to see and understand things differently about themselves. I would want to hear any thoughts or questions that a patient has about this, but I would also bring this up based on my observations.
How do you approach diversity in the room or working with clients who may come from a different background than you?
I approach diversity with sensitivity and openness. There is always a lot for me to learn about other cultures, ethnicities, etc. I want to learn about my patients in every way I can.
What is unique about the work you do, or how have you found your work to be different than your colleagues'?
I consider myself to be gentle, warm and actively engaged and interested in helping. I also think that humor is important and helpful in the process.
What is the best part of the work for you?
I enjoy helping people to gain insight into themselves and their lives, and seeing the positive results that occur.
What led you to become a mental healthcare practitioner?
I fell in love with the subject of Psychology in high school, actually. I have always been drawn to working with people in a helping capacity.
Do you have experience (5-10 years+) working with any types of obstacles or people in particular?
Yes, I have over 30 years of experience with a wide variety of obstacles and people, which includes working with various forms of addiction.
Have you received any particular training beyond your post-Bachelor's training?
Yes, I received a certificate in psychoanalytic psychotherapy through The New York School For Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy.
Where did you work before going into private practice?
The Mount Sinai Medical Center. I worked in the OB-GYN area for a few years, and then I worked in the EAP.
Is there ever a time when you would encourage me to leave or graduate? Or how do I know when it's time to end or move on, or time to stay and explore more?
If the work isn’t moving forward, or the patient seems stuck, I will explore this with them. It is very useful to look at what might be going on during those times. In doing so, things will usually open up. Talking about how the treatment is going can be helpful at anytime. This may lead to a deepening of the treatment or it could lead to talking about ending it.
How will our relationship be different than relationships I have with friends/loved ones?
The therapeutic relationship is very different. It is strictly confidential and the work is focussed completely on you. You will be helped to understand yourself in a different way because of the questions that the therapist will ask and explore. You will also relate differently to a therapist than you would to a friend or family member, because you will feel more free to access your feelings.
If I have never been to therapy before, what should I expect? How do I know if I should go, and how do I start?
If there are problems or areas of dissatisfaction in your life that you want to improve, therapy can be extremely helpful. There is no downside to beginning therapy, and much to be gained. When you meet with a therapist for the first time, you will get a good sense of whether it is a good “fit” and a sense of what it feels like to discuss your concerns in a focussed and confidential manner. The best way to begin is to meet in person and tell the therapist what’s on your mind and what brings you.
How participatory are you during sessions?
I am quite interactive but never at the expense of listening. I feel that patients need to be heard and that comes first.
How much do you share about yourself during our time together and why?
I rarely volunteer information about myself because I feel it takes away from the work. However, I feel that patients should ask any questions that they have and should feel completely free to speak their minds with me. Most of the time I will answer questions that patients ask.
Are there any philosophies or values that inform your work that I should know about?
I feel that psychoanalytic theory is extremely helpful in understanding my patients and helping them to create positive changes.
Please share 2-3 anonymized examples of how the work can play out and/or look in the room so that I can form a visual or narrative of what to expect.
1. A young woman felt distraught after the break-up of a long-term relationship. She felt lost, unsure of herself, and had difficulty concentrating. Within the confines of a safe, confidential, therapeutic relationship, she spoke freely about her feelings, and this helped to shift her feelings of self-worth. She began to have a better understanding of what the relationship meant to her and why they broke up. She was able to challenge some of the negative feelings that she had about herself and her self-esteem strengthened. This helped her to begin to flourish in other ways in her life. She began to reach career goals, she started dating again, and eventually she fell in love with a young man and got married. The satisfaction and healthy self-esteem that she achieved has continued to this day. 2. A young man felt conflicted about his sexual orientation. He felt anxious about the idea of dating either men or women. He also felt very anxious about his career, and whether he could ever be successful in it. Within the therapeutic relationship, these feelings were expressed for the first time. As we explored family history and some of the reasons that he felt anxious, he became more comfortable and less anxious. His full treatment continued for only one year, but the outcome was extremely successful. By the end, he was involved in a healthy, stable relationship with a man, he had come out to his family, who were very supportive, and he felt confident about his career. When a conflict is better understood there is clarity, and with it a satisfying outcome is sure to follow. 3. A young woman presented with depression, alcoholism and suicidality. She is seen 2X a week in light of the seriousness of her symptoms. We begin to explore the difficulties in her life that she has never discussed. It is quickly revealed that she has been struggling with low self worth stemming from a very difficult childhood. As the therapeutic relationship begins to nurture this person’s feelings of self-worth, other steps are put into place. A safety plan is established in the event of suicidal thoughts and she is encouraged to connect with the AA community. In the treatment, she felt listened to, maybe for the first time. As a result, she became sober, she stopped feeling suicidal, her depression disappeared, and she began to live a much more full and happy life.
From your perspective, what is therapy?
Therapy is a highly useful collaborative process which is used to resolve problems that feel difficult and are often impossible to resolve on your own. Through the process of talking through issues and concerns in a supportive, non-judgmental environment, one’s perspective begins to shift. A greater understanding about oneself emerges which leads to making positive changes.